One of those Days!

For the past few months I have been EXTREMLY sick. Medical test after medical test. I think I am on number 11, plus a surgery, and countless lab work. But I always have looked at the brighter side of it all, knowing that there is a reason for this and God is going grow me through this and that I am going to be stronger in the end. I always put a smile on my face and head out the door, no matter how sick I had been feeling that morning. I have to. I can't let this: whatever it is (since the doctors can't figure it out whats wrong at the moment), control my life! So I just truck on.

Today was not a "trucking on" type of day. I am tired of dealing with doctors. I am tired of losing weight. I think I have lost a total of 15 lbs. I am tired of being afraid if and what I eat if its going to make me sick. I am tired of this whole ordeal. I just want it all to go away. That was today! Those were my thoughts today!!

Thankfully, I had the opportunity to sleep in without feeling the pressure of having to be in the office on time. Though I can't remember the last time I have actually made it into the office by 8:30, due to my current illness. Thankfully, I work for the most wonderful place, and I have a very understand boss (and supporting staff). I couldn't control my emotions day, I just felt like all of this was just bearing down on me and it was more than I could handle. I couldn't keep it together.

We were suppose to have a girl's luncheon today, I opted not to go. I wasn't in a very social group mood, much less did I feel like not eating around a bunch of people you were. The thought was just too much to bear.

After everyone had left (the office was EMPTY), Melissa, caught me in the hallway, and I just broke down...again! Just at that time, Kyle, walked around the corner...I didn't want him to see me a blubberlery mess (what is it with guys and freaking out when a girl starts crying!), I tried to shake it off. He joked...oh did you just want to throw some water on your face. I responded with "yea, I wanted to see how my eye make-up would look when it started to run".

Kyle and I ended up going to lunch together...well I say going, I really mean picking up something through the drive thru and bringing it back to the church. But it was nice to be away from everyone else. Though sometimes when he is in "work mode" its as though I am talking to a brick wall. But today, it didn't seem to bother me too much.

As the day went on, my spirit began to lift a bit. I just need to get through this, and keep trusting God. Putting my faith in Him, knowing that He is in control. That There is a purpose and He will reveal it in His timing.