The Ticking Clock

Reality knocked on my door on Tuesday and now it is just a matter of time until either everything falls apart or comes together. Or is it both? The clock is ticking and the truth is I am an absolutle wreck, because I am just waiting. Waiting....waiting....waiting....and a bit more waiting. It isn't the waiting that bothers me, I am an overall patient person or I like to think so. It is the answer what I am waiting on, because this it was everything hangs on. And that is what is scary, because everything could change on this ONE thing. ONE THING.
It is funny how that is how life is, everything could hang one thing, and it could change everything. And that is what scares the heck out me. There I said it, I am scared.
Isn't that what everybody wants to hear me say, finally admit it. There it is.
Just when I have arrived at a peace (I was at a peace in 1 day! That is a quick turn over isn't it?), but I am talking about an overwealming peace. I know I am doing God's will and this "WAITING" it totally different. Different waiting, different thing, but the above does in so many ways affect the latter. And that is why I'm scared. In my heart, I know I am following God's will and I am doing as I am told, but it is so hard when I don't know where God is leading me. Or what God's plan is at all in all of this. And that is what is scary, because I flying BLIND. I am flying across the freaking ocean with a blind fold on and I don't know where the heck I am going. And that is faith right? Trust, right? I have always had an issue with trust.

"Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the butt" - Meredith - Grey's Anatomy