Flying Blind

As I mentioned in my last post, I feel as though I am flying over the ocean with a blind fold on. At the moment, that is exactly how I feel - how I have been feeling for over a month now. It is my lack of trust that I have, or deep down is it that I don't have a lot of faith? Its not that I don't trust God, I do. I trusted in Him & accepted Christ as my Savior. And I am thankful beyond words for everything that He has so graciously given me. The Lord has always come through for me in that past, when all I see are the things around me falling apart, He see the glorious destination ahead because He knows the big picture. The real truth of the matter is, I like to be in control - yet again falling into the catagory that I have a lack of trust and faith.
Do all Christians deal with this? Lacking faith. Lacking trust. I know in my heart - deepest places that God has touched that He has said "Jennifer, wait." and so I not only obeyed God, but I made sure this wasn't something I was just "feeling", so I said it aloud and it was agreed upon. Which in so many ways gave me an overwealming relief and secured the peace I already had in my heart.
So I continue to wait. As my heart tells me to, as God has told me to. Because I am waiting, I realize that I am waiting upon an unsure future. As though I am walking through a tunnel without a flashlight - God has the flashlight - He knows what is ahead for me and he turns on the flashlight (reveals what is ahead) in His timing. When I am ready. When the time is right. Maybe, I have more faith than I give myself credit for or maybe I am realizing that it is when I am in control things are so completly out of control.
The truth is, I know that my waiting will be beneficial in the long run. And I feel in my heart (but I can't say this as fact or that it WILL happen) that it may work out the way I hope it to. No matter the outcome, it will be for the best, right?

I can fly blind and have God steer the plane then I will be okay.